Witty witticisms and other rarities.

Quiet please, I'm thinking.

Shake it like you mean it.

For whatever reason I have been thinking about earthquakes lately. Not a subject to which I have given great amounts of consideration, not since I was a kid anyway and thought that every earthquake resulted in a splitting of the earth’s crust followed by a rapid descent into rivers of angry lava. I was a weird kid.

Perhaps, since I now live in an area of rather well documented seismic activity, the possibility (nay, inevitability) of experiencing one firsthand brings this frighteningly exciting prospect to the fore. I wonder how it will feel. Will it be like those bad movies or TV shows where the camera shakes and actors throw themselves from place to place, like Captain Kirk on the Starship Enterprise? Probably not. We’ll all be thrown hither and yon, against our better judgement no doubt, and it won’t be funny in the slightest. I don’t even like listening to others suggest what I should do so I don’t think I’ll be happy at all about being knocked about like a rag-doll. Will I be scared? Again, I’m guessing that’s a yes. Will people I know and care for be lost, crushed, swept out to sea? Maybe. It’s probably best if I don’t think about this too much.

Somewhere I read that the best thing to do in the event of an earthquake is to brace one’s self between the jambs of a door. Apparently there is greater structural support at that point so a greater chance of making it through earthly upheaval. All well and good I think but what if the quake hits at 4 am, as these things tend to do, and the first clue I have that something is wrong is that I’m falling four floors? Maybe our mattress will save us. Always invest in a good mattress I say. Honestly though, if we manage to get to safety, in the frame of one of our doors, and the whole building collapses around us won’t we get tired being stuck there, four floors up, clinging on for dear life? There really is no good answer and it’s not something I am used to. I suppose it could be one of those ‘learn on the job’ situations.

Worst of all, if I manage to compose myself and have the wherewithal to deliver some witty remark prior to my demise, it’s unlikely anyone here will understand it. Fingers crossed that I never have to find out.



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